LOVE
Peace
Sing in your heart to the Lord
HUMILITY
Reconciliation
JOY
VICTORY
Forgiveness
Thankfulness
PURITY
Healing
Sharing
Faithfulness
Patience
Self-control
Kindness
Love and Purity Before and During Marriage
1. We are to glorify God in our body because it does not belong to us, it belongs to the Lord. This
applies to the marriage relationships as well. Everything done with the body should bring glory and
honor to God. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
2. Our bodies are supposed to be treated in a pure and holy manner, and each person should learn
how to respect their body, and their spouse’s body in sanctification and honor, not in lustful
passion. (1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5)
3. Humans are made in the image of God, and should not have relations like animals do. Animals are
not motivated by love, but instinct. People should be motivated by love and unselfishness. The
purpose of marriage relations is to bring the couple closer together in heart, mind, soul and body.
The focus should not be on the body, but on the inner person, and the union of the thoughts and
emotions of the couple. If physical pleasure is the focus it becomes selfish and lustful, and the
couple will be hurt in their inner person, and not feel close to each other. As a test, if people don’t
feel closer to each other after having relations, then it was done in a selfish or lustful manner.
4. Couples should have an agreed upon time of abstinence when they do not engage in marriage
relations, to devote themselves to prayer, fasting and spiritual growth. (1 Corinthians 7:5) They
can learn self-control and self-discipline in this way, and develop a deeper love and respect for
each other, similar to what they experienced before marriage while dating. This is why it is
important to have a pure and Godly dating relationship which provides the foundation for
self-control and unselfishness in the marriage relationship. Individuals who engage in lustful
thoughts, self-abuse, and an impure courtship will bring this sinful behavior into their marriage,
and damage their partner, and their whole marriage relationship will suffer.
5. A man who looks at women who are immodest, or looks at books, magazines, TV or video that
stimulates him, will treat his wife in a lustful, selfish manner. This lustful attitude will create a wall
between him and his wife. When he touches his wife she will not feel love, but selfishness. She
will feel used and taken advantage of, and it will hurt her deeply in her heart and mind. Every time
her husband touches her she will tense up, and feel abused. She will quickly learn to disrespect
her husband, and feel bitter thoughts towards him. This will be an invisible wall between them
throughout their married life and they will not be able to connect and love each other the way God
intended.
6. The husband’s response to this problem is that he feels neglected by his wife, and hurt that she
does not care about him. He quickly learns to resent his wife and feel that she doesn’t understand
or care, and all he can feel is rejection and loneliness. An invisible wall is built by the husband to
further separate him from his wife. As a result, both husband and wife feel hurt and isolated from each other, and the marriage relationship that was supposed to unite the couple in pure and Godly love has become a wall of division. This separation between husband and wife affects their
children, and the children cannot connect properly with both parents. When the children can’t
connect with the parents, they can’t connect properly with the other children either.
7. The above problems often originate with a man, but a woman can contribute to these concerns
and fall into the same temptations herself. A woman must be careful about how she dresses, acts
and talks, so that she doesn't create a stumbling block for men by encouraging lustful thoughts or
actions. When the flesh is crucified, and people walk in the Spirit and practice the fruits of the
Spirit, every area of their life, including their marriage and family will be transformed. (Gal
5:16-25)
For more information contact us at:
Legge Relationship Health
PO Box 262
Listowel Ontario, N4W 3H4
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
- Eph. 4:32 & 5:1-2
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